Saluting Jared Fogle: 10 Years & One (Subway) BUN At A Time

Y’all know who Jared Fogle is, right?  (As soon as WordPress fixes their latest technical glitch, I’ll upload his picture so as to refresh your memory). Jared is the guy who lost nearly 240 pounds while eating Subway (submarine) sandwiches EVERY day while he was losing weight.

Jared not only achieved his weight loss goal, but he has been at his goal weight for just over nine years…and has been CONSISTENTLY losing/maintaining his weight for over TEN years! And wouldn’t you know it, but he has been eating BREAD virtually EVERY day of his inspiring weight loss journey (GASP!!!).

BUNS (yes, those Subway [submarine] sandwiches always come with BUNS!!!)…And those BUNS are made of lots of ingredients including SUGAR AND FLOUR!!! <I think I just heard the sound of a H.O.W. food plan devotee just passing out from shock (not to mention carbohydrate deprivation!)>.

My point to this rant? Well, other than to salute Jared on his impressive success, I wanted to point out that at least some food addicts CAN eat bread (e.g., CAN eat sugar and flour) and still remain in recovery.

So the next time some devotee of one of those dredful “no sugar, no flour” diets tries to tell you that you MUST avoid ALL sugar and flour or you can’t/wont be successful in your recovery journey, feel free to point out that at least some food addicts (e.g., Jared Fogle) ARE long-term successful WHILE STILL EATING sugar and flour.

Maybe they have to avoid ALL sugar and flour (that is their choice — even if they can’t find a doctor or dietician to sign off on it due to the increased risk of health problems caused by low-carbohydrate diets)…but their choice does NOT have to be yours…and your success does not have to come while attempting to follow a CraZy diet that is based on (at best) whacked-out scientific theories.

Oh yeah…I probably should mention that ALL carbohydrates break down into SUGAR in our bodies!!! So NOT “ALL sugar” is bad or (in one sense) is any indivudal TOTALLY sugar free IF they eat ANY amount of carbohydrates.

 

Should We EVER “Avoid” Food To Protect Our Recovery?

Since I stated in a previous post that I do NOT believe that food is something to be “feared” by us addicts  (either in terms of seeing it, smelling it or (gasp!) even thinking about it), I’d like to discuss the issue of when and if it is ever approriate for a food addict to avoid food.

What I’m sharing about this (like hopefully most everything I discuss on OveractiveFork) is based on my experience, strength and hope. This means that what I’m about to share is based on real life experience and is not some sort of intellectual theory that has not been tested in my own life.

Fact 1: We DO have to deal with food in the “real world”. It surrounds us everyday and everywhere. 

Fact 2: We really SHOULD have to eat some food each in order to survive. So “avoiding” food entirely isn’t a sane option.

Considering the two facts presented above, why is it that some food addicts expect 12 Step recovery — recovery intended to help us overcome our addiction, One Day At A Time – to play into, encourage or enable the fear of facing food?  Authentic recovery, IMHO, recogizes that food is not our problem!!! Our “problem” is the addiction to overeating (and, for many us, we also have an addiction that leads us to avoid physical exercise at all costs). Treating our addiction – not devising schemes to avoid food – is the proper focus of my recovery efforts.

Yes, Step 1 of Alcoholics Anonymous begins, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol…”, but it does NOT state that we are powerless over our elbows, our mouths or making choices that will ultimately enhance our recovery. We addicts ARE powerless, to be sure, but we are NOT hopeless!

Does that mean I go out of my way to “test my recovery”?  Not at all. My recovery from my addiction is a precious gift. My recovery is not a game to be played with. So I do not go out of my way to tempt myself to overeat (or underexercise). Likewise I would never encourage any other addict to play games with their recovery, nor would I encourage them to fear food or take “heroic measures” to avoid it.

My experience in meetings of Overeaters Anonymous over the years has given me exposure to some fellowship members who need to avoid even the thought of food. IMHO, this is more about trying to control the behavior of other members than it is about working their own program of recovery. So if attend an OA meeting where someone states that the mere mention of food is NOT allowed, please find a DIFFERENT meeting to attend!!!!  Telling a member that they can’t mention food by it’s actual, specific name is nothing less than flamingly co-dependent behavior!

I’ve personally checked (on a number of occasions over the years) with Overeaters Anonymous World Service Office (www.oa.org), OA’s Regional Trustees and other trusted servants of the OA fellowship and ALL of them have stated to me that NO official (or even suggested) rule exists about prohibiting (or even discouraging) the mention of food during meetings. To the best of my investigating, it appears that this is yet another crock of crap that has come about thanks to the anti-carbohydrate fanaticists known as the dreded “H.O.W. Movement”. To says the least, these ”sugar-and-flour-phobics” do not represent the besting thinking found within the Overeaters Anonymous fellowship!

Find me a H.O.W. Movement devotee who has long-term recovery from weight loss — I just dare you to find even one!  Yes, you can find some who have lost lots of excess weight, but find me one who has been at goal weight for more than a year or two?  They just can’t be found! NObody can follow their food plan (rigid, perfectionistic and unbalanced as it is).  That food plan is one of the most extremely dangerous forms of a diet (NOT a “food plan” in the healthy sense, but a “diet” in the worst sense of that word) that has ever existed.

If you know about the history of Overeaters Anonymous, then you know that the original writer of the “Grey Sheet food plan” (which has been mal-adapted by numorous H.O.W. cultists over the years) was written by an OA member who wasn’t even a dieticician! I don’t know about y’all, but I’d trust another addict to write my food plan as much as I’d trust a pyromaniac to be a fireman! –> In other words, It is NOT a good idea!!!

Now that I’ve warned y’all about the H.O.W. Movement, I want to share that – based on my experience, strength and hope — that working and living the 12 Steps (O.D.A.A.T.) is the best way I’ve found to rob food of it’s power to control my thinking, let alone my choices when it comes to what and how much I eat.

Working and living the 12 Steps – over and over, O.D.A.A.T. – relieves me of guilt, shame, fear and a whole host of other negativity that kept me both in bondage to food and yet also fearful of it. The 12 Steps have allowed me to overcome (O.D.A.A.T. — it doesn’t usually happen overnight!) my co-dependency issues that kept tangled in UNhealthy relationships with toxic individuals. I no longer have to stay involved in (or stuck in woundedness from) UNhealthy relationships that only fed into my addiction to OVEReat.

Do I ever “avoid” persons, places and/or situations where I would likely find it only too easy to overeat?  Yes, from time to time (even as recently as this past Sunday) I do avoid such situations…BUT NOT because they can “magically force” me to overeat. Rather I stay away from this persons, places and/or situations because I (stated positively) make choices today that enhance the quality of my life and my recovery. Hanging out around “food pushers” only adds to my stress level. They can’t “force” me to overeat, but why hang out with people who almost certainly get on my nerves? It just doesn’t make sense.

Just for today, I don’t choose to keep certain foods near me (in my kitchen) because I know “my history” with those foods. Why place myself in constant temptation to overeat? Thankfully I’m following a nutritionally-sane food plan that allows me to choose from a wide variety of foods, so I don’t get bored just because I choose to stay away from certain foods. But I’m NOT staying away from any food because I’m afraid of it. I simply respect my history with it and don’t choose to repeat it. I seem to recall that someone once said“Those who can’t remember the past are destined to repeat it”.

 

Impulsive Overeating

Some people refer to themselves as “compulsive overeaters”. Others refer to themselves as “food addicts”.

Some people with a “food issue” make a big deal about how they identify themselves and insist that others identify themselves exactly the way they do when it comes to identifying problematic food-related behavior.

My position, when it comes to identifying my out-of-control food behavior, is that ultimately I’m an addict and that excessive food intake and avoidance of physical exercise are merely manifestations of my underlying addictive disorder. As I mentioned in a previous post, I tend to agree with a friend who believed that codependency was underneath every single self-destructive addiction.

Whatever.  How I identify my disorder isn’t all that important. What is important, IMHO, is what I’m doing about.

I’m certainly cmpulsive when it comes to food and exercise avoidance.

I’m definitely an addict when it comes to these two things.

I’m also very much of what I would call an “Impulsive Overeater”. “Impulsive” to the point that when I want to eat something (or want to avoid exercise) ALMOST NOTHING will stop from having my way!  If this isn’t a classic definition of “addiction” I don’t know what is! <blush> As I’ve also heard this reality described, we addicts, “want what we want when we want it — if not BEFORE!!!”

I can really relate to the following definitions of “impulse” and “impulsive”.

IMPULSE
* “Sudden, involuntary inclination prompting to action.”
* ”A sudden desire.”
* “A sudden pushing or driving force.”

IMPULSIVE
” Without forethought.”
* “Determined by chance or impulse or whim, rather than by necessity or reason.”
* “Characterized by undue haste and lack of thought or deliberation.”

Being impulsive explains a LOT about my behavior with food and exercise avoidance…especially with the food part of my addiction process! How many times it seemed almost if food MAGICALLY came FLYING into my mouth! No forethought, just an INSTANEOUS action took place, over which I felt powerLESS.

And when I am powerLESS, what a great place to “tap into the power” I find when working the 12 Steps, praying, working with other addicts! I find it of absolute importance that I share HONESTLY (with both God and other addicts) about at those moments when I want to act out in a self-destructive manner. Mentioning food and behaviors by names often does much to diminish the power of my self-destructive behaviors.

I bring up this issue of “impuslive overeating” because this issue is related to one of my few frustrations with the Weight Watchers POINTS food plan.

As I’ve mentioned on this blog before, I think the POINTS plan has to be one of the nutritionally-sanest food plans ever written. Because it is so very “sane” when it comes to nutrition, I have found it to be the easiest food plan I’ve ever tried to follow. This is NOT another “diet”. Given the variety and volume of food it allows me to consume, for the most part it is a sheer joy to follow. Figuring up the POINTS value of foods takes some work, but my experience is that most things in life that are worthwhile DO take work.

So when it comes to MY impulsiveness and working the POINTS food plan the “rub” is that I really can’t just “grab and inhale” any old food whenever I feel like it.  In order to honestly work the POINTS food plan I must know the POINTS value of every food item I consume. It doesn’t great math skills to work the POINTS food plan, but it DOES take some discipline. And discipline makes it pretty hard to act out impulsively with excess food! This is NOT necessarily a bad thing. The only problem is that my “addict within” doesn’t particularly care for this!

 

K.I.S.S.ing Along The Way: Day #3, O.D.A.A.T.

Don’t ya’ just love all of the “recovery speak” we 12 Step veterans bombard newscomers with! All of the acronyms, program slogans and terminology can indeed be at least a little bit confusing! An amusing story about this  issue was shared by a long-time sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous…

When my friend first came to AA he was pretty much in what he called a “rummy dummy state” — meaning that he had killed LOTS of brain cells over the course of DECADES of hard drinking…which left him in a state where it didn’t take much to confuse him!

The first AA meetings he attended took place in the living room of a member’s home (this is a very important detail). At each meeting he heard numerous references to the “AA program of recovery”.  After attending meetings for several weeks, he finally asked the group members WHEN (day and time) and WHAT CHANNEL carried the “AA program”! He connected the word “program” with the TV set that was sitting in the living room (which served as the AA meeting room) of the house where he was attending meetings! No wonder he was frustrated with waiting for the “program” to start!

Of course “program” and “program of recovery” refers to the 12 Steps that serves as the basis for recovery offered by Alcoholics Anonymous and all of the various 12 Step fellowships. So “the program” ain’t a TV show!

The subject line of this post refers to two recovery acronyms. So if you are a newbie to 12 Step recovery, allow me to explain them:

K.I.S.S. = “Keep It Simple, Stupid” (some politically correct 12 Step-revisionists have re-translated these letters to stand for “Keep It Simple, Sweetie” (as if to protect us from our low self-esteem). Funny, but I’ve never felt overly offended by the “Stupid” definition of the “second S.” in K.I.S.S. — Prior to recovery, “Stupid” was probably one of the NICEST things that I thought about myself! <blush>

I think “Stupid” is acceptable because what I understand this slogan to really be about is a wake-up call to my “addict within” that hey: you do NOT have ALL the answers, so you need to become “teachable”.  Not because I’m really all that “stupid”, but because (in my active addiction) I can be a pretty arrogant know-it-all (”arrogance” defined: “Making claims or pretensions to superior importance or rights; overbearingly assuming”.  Yup, sounds like me in the bad old days! <still blushing>

O.D.A.A.T., the other acronym used in the subject line of this post, refers to the principle of working on my recovery (JUST) One Day At A Time.  This reminds me that I need to keep my focus on the “hear and now” as I struggle to discern what is “just the NEXT right thing” I need to do to keep on track with my recovery process.

During my first 72 hours (3 days, O.D.A.A.T), I’m using the K.I.S.S. concept to help me remember to stay “teachable” (or what some call “open-minded”) to NEW and BETTER ways of thinking and acting that I had practiced in my active addiction. I’m using the O.D.A.A.T approach to recovery to keep me focused on NOW. My recovery program NEVER asks me for long-term commitments — just to work on today. Working MORE than JUST O.D.A.A.T. is good way to get scared, overwhelmed and downright stressed about recovery.

Some stress in recovery might be acceptable, but in my crAzY way of thinking (in the thinking of my “addict within”), I can get worked up way too much over way too little in no time at all. The good news is that if I can’t handle making it JUST O.D.A.A.T. it is perfectly acceptable to take things in my life/recovery in even SMALLER incriments than “one day” (e.g., 5 minutes, 10 minutes, or even just one hour at a time).

Despite my seasonal allergies, my body is a little less out of sorts today than it was yesterday. My mood is also much more stable today when  compared to 24 hours ago. To paraphrase a popular phrase in AA literature, “The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that”.

 

The First 72 Hours: Day #2 — One Day At A Time

Dave announces: “I’m an addict and my problem is Dave!…ingesting excessive amounts of food and avoiding physical exercise are my drugs of choice!”

Group responds: “Hi Dave and welcome!”

Dave continues…

By the grace of God, who is GREATER than my limited understanding of Him, I am still “back on track” for my second consecutive day of recovery from my recent relapse. Overall yesterday went very well and today is going really good too!

Have I experienced “cravings” to OVEReat? Yes. Have I desired to AVOID exercise at all costs? Definitely. Yet God’s grace has kept me on track and given (quite literally) the ability to do (with His strength) what I could NOT do for myself.

I’ve also been strengthened by my willingness to reach out to other addicts — this blog is one way I do that, phone calls and in person visits also help. Sure, fellow addicts can be a source of irritation (after all, we’re ALL SCREWED UP TO SOME DEGREE OR ANOTHER, RIGHT?), but many times I’ve found that the very issues that cause such irritatioin can be turned around so that they can actually help my recovery effort (e.g., what I usually find most irritating in other addicts is often the very same areas of brokenness that I need to deal with — NOTE that I did not say that I “want” to deal with!).

Yesterday I reached out to one addict in person, made one phone call and worked on this blog. Thus far today I’ve made one phone call and am working on this blog.

Other addicts may be able to experience recovery while in isolation from other addicts, but what I know is that my recovery effort is MUCH easier when I reach out for support.

A word about phone calls: When I get an addict’s answering machine or voicemail, my making the call AND leaving a message COUNTS toward what I consider to be my effort to reach out to other addicts. I’ve done my part and that is the important thing — since what I do (not what others do or don’t do) is what I can control. I mention all of this only because I used to not consider my attempts to reach out as being “good enough” unless the other person either answered their phone or returned my call.

Reaching out to God for support is even more important (than reaching out to others) to the success of my recovery effort. Yet God always leads me to reach out to other people. I definitely believe than “an addict alone is in bad company”.

What else is helping?  Prayer…Reading recovery-supportive literature…Listening to uplifting music…Remembering to “H.A.L.T.” before I get over-stressed with living “life on life’s terms”.  “H.A.L.T.” is a 12 Step reminder to STOP/HALT BEFORE I get “too…” Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired (or really “too…” much of ANYthing that (like these four things) can set me up for relapse.

Today I’m (physically) feeling pretty rough. Between seasonal allergies (a/k/a “The Ohio Valley Creeping Crud”) and what I call “detox issues” caused by (healthy) changes in my food intake, coupled with the more intense emotions I feel when I’m not stuffing down my emotions with excess food, I’m pretty much “a basket case-waiting-to-happen” — Just For Today!

And when I’m feeling like a “a basket case-waiting-to-happen” thats all the MORE reason for me to practice the H.A.L.T. principle and remember that during my first 72 hours I really must “cut myself some slack” and remember to relax!

 

Take Revenge On “Earth People”: Stay FAT!!!

I decided to take a break from updating this blog while starting work on a new blog that has nothing to do with the subject matter of Overactive Fork.

At some point within the past six weeks I made a (sub)conscious decision (which IS a decision of sorts) that I just wanted to do a little less work on my recovery effort.

My decision was definitely DUMB (not to mention self-destructive!). After all, my addiction NEVER takes a break from working on me, so where do I get off deciding that I can somehow “let up” on working on my recovery?  Such stinking thinking ALWAYS leads me (and most other addicts too?) to relapse.

My “SIX Week Mini-Vacation From Recovery” resulted in a 1.3 pound weight re-gain (UPDATE: As of Monday, March 31 my TEN week weight re-gain total was 3.3 pounds). Obviously, it could have been a LOT worse — I’m extremely lucky that I didn’t re-gain at least 20 pounds in a six (make that 30 pounds in a TEN) week period!

My relapses over the past few years have usually resulted in small weight re-gains — which (Duh!) STOPS my ability to continue to lose excess weight.  Then again, to be totally honest, I don’t really want to be “THIN!!!”

Pardon me while I vent…

I pretty much DETEST thin (especailly “thin and muscular”) people who tend to cop a negative attitude toward big fat slobs like me!  At times, I actually HATE these folks! I actually wish that they could become a big fat slob just like me — if not bigger, fatter and “slobbier” (Is ”slobbier” a real word?) than moi!!!

REALITY CHECK: Of course I’m NEVER REALLY “angry” or “full of hate” – I just STUFF DOWN my anger and hatred to become what one rock song called a state of being “comfortably numb”!

I also pretty much DETEST any food plan that attempts to suggest a saner way to eat than does that self-deluded voice that tells me to “Go ahead, and eat just a little more…”! This is a truly pathetic attitude to cop, especially because the Weight Watchers POINTS food plan is probably the most reasonable, flexible and sanest food plan I’ve ever worked in my life!

And when it comes right down to it: I’m VERY AFRAID to be
“THIN”!!! I can remember people asking me countless time over the years if I didn’t REALLY want to be “thin”. For many years I would respond to the “earth people” with a one word answer: ”Sure!” – just to  get them off my back! Anything to just SHUT THEM UP (so I can begin stuffing down even more anger and resentment).

You know who “earth people” are, right? They are the people who walk around with maybe 5 - 10 pounds of excess weight, yet claim that they “understand” what it’s like to deal with the same level of obesity as those of us who are “morbidly obese”. Heck,I’ve SPILLED MORE FOOD at one meal than these folks have probably overate over the course of their entire life!

Some other “earth people” are actually at a normal weight and rarely if ever overeat (let alone act out with any of the major self-destructive addiction). Their “addiction” per se is to feel superior to those of us who aren’t as PERFECT as they are! And don’t they have ALL the answers for all of our problems.

“Bitter…Party of one!!!”

OK. Enough of my tirade against “earth people”, food plans and everything else that gets on my last nerve when it comes to my addiction. Sometimes I just gotta’ vent before I can re-focus and re-group and get back on track with a sane(r) way of thinking. As John Bradshaw or some other 12 Step speaker once said, “Nothing ever changes until it becomes what it is.”

But back to that irritating question often asked of me, “Don’t you REALLY want to be thin?” The truth is NO (some part of me at least) would really rather stay FAT (maybe “less fat”). Deep down I’m AFRAID to let go of the layers of fat that have done such a marvelous job (?) over the years to PROTECT me!

I know this fear is crazy. But since I was in high school (I turned 50 earlier this year), I can honestly state that I have experience the FEAR being thin. Then again, perhaps fear is just another excuse to stay in the food and stay out of the exercise?

 

8 Calls Within 21 Hours…

I really should trust my gut more often.

I just knew that this friend who wanted  me to be her “Weight Loss Buddy” wasn’t playing with a “Regulation 52 Deck” (a/k/a “She was an order of French Fries short of a Happy Meal”). I could sense that it was a “co-dependent clingfest” just waiting to happen.

Not to gloat, but I was right about her!

This evening (Monday, January 7, 200 was to be the first time we were to attend a Weight Watchers meeting together…so SHE had dictiated to me. But the relationship was over even before it began, thanks to her calling me EIGHT TIMES WITHIN 21 HOURS — just to make sure that I was going to be at the meeting! Talk about “control issues”! 

Thanks, but I don’t need a nag, a cop or a stalker to be my Weight Loss Buddy!!!

I sent her an e-mail message late this afternoon stating that I’m not willing to attend Weight Watchers meetings with her at this time. I didn’t offer her a lengthy explanation about my decision since I figured that it would likely just end up in an argument. (Have you ever tried to argue with a person who is drunk on the need to control others? Talk about stressful conversations!)

IMHO, from a spiritual and mental health point of view, a relationship such as a “Weight Loss Buddy” should be more about trust than control. It should be about giving each other SPACE to ask for help, instead of one buddy assuming that s/he has ALL the answers for the other buddy. Each buddy should be responsible for making his own decisions, instead of one buddy acting as a dictator by announcing decisions they’ve made for the other person.

I come from a pretty dysfunctional alcoholic family, so returning to one isn’t one of the things I long for.

The relationship dynamics my friend had insisted on were majorly dysfunctional. Ya’ think!

To the best of my knowledge, my friend is not an alcoholic. But her behavior smacks of alcoholic personality issues (”Alcoholics don’t form relationships — They take hostages.”). Perhaps one (or both) of her parent(s) or her ex-husband were alcoholics — since we codependents seem to take on many characteristics of the addicts and otherwise out-of-control individuals who cross our path.

Over the course of many years of working on my recovery journey, I’ve seen this unhealthy relationship pattern repeated many times (e.g., control vs. trust). I too have been guilty of being a control freak, hence my ongoing membership in Al-Anon and the decision to work my 12 Step program of recovery on my codependency issues.

I certainly wish my friend well with her re-entry into the Weight Watchers fellowship. I just don’t care to be her Weight Loss Buddy, just for today!

 

To My Own Self Be True

I haven’t mentioned this elsewhere on my blog, but in February 2006 I was diagnosed as being a Type 2 Diabetic. Diabetics are much more likely than non-diabetics to develop other serious health problems, including heart and kidney disease.

Keeping in mind my health history,  coupled with my addictions to both OVEReat and UNDERexercise, I am today committing (one day at a time) to make the following small (but I think important) changes in what I eat and how much I exercise. These changes are well within the guidelines of my Weight Watchers’ POINTS food plan and directions given me by various physical therapists over the years.

One day at a time, I commit to…

– Stop eating french fries and onion rings.   They have virtually NO nutritional value, regardless of the type of oil in which they are deep-fried. And I surely do NOT need the TON of SALT that fast food restaurants (especially McDonald’s) pour on their french fries!

– Start eating MORE green vegetables,

– Eat a garden salad three or more days per week.

– Start eating/drinking MORE Vitamin C-rich fruits.

– DO physical exercise for at least 15 minutes each day, every day, NO MATTER WHAT!

– Eat fish and white meat MORE often, while eating LESS red meat.

Am I “excited” about making any of these changes? NO WAY!!! I’m just being honest (”Nothing ever changes until it becomes what it is.”) AND am seeking God’s grace to make these changes.

“God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannont change…the courage to change the things I can…and the wisdom to know the difference — even when I do NOT feel like doing these things. In Jesus’ name. Amen!”

And what if I don’t PERFECTLY adhere to my commitment? Then I have another prayer, known as The Serenity Prayer - Part 2, to pray:

“God, grant me patience with the changes that take time, an appreciation for all that I have, a tolerance for those with different struggles and the strength to get up and try again . . . One Day At A Time. In Jesus’ name. Amen!”