Before, During OR After?An earlier topic I posted on had to do with just how cruel we food addicts can be to one another. One aspect of the unkindness we are capable of acting out with has to do with how judgmental we food addicts can be about other addict’s food choices. I find it rather ironic that those of us who have been out-of-control with our food intake can be awfully high and mighty — yeah, in a word: “judgmental” — when it comes to rating what and/or how much  other addicts (addicts who self-identify as being “in recovery”) eat.

And you (and I) certainly are NOT judgmental toward other addicts, right? Then tell me about that fellow who is pictured above (the guy wearing the red shirt). Did you assume that he is at his TOP weight ever? Or did you wonder if he had already lost 50, 75, 100 or more pounds? How do you emperically KNOW that he is as overweight as he has ever been? Answer: You can NOT know for sure if you just met someone. Why is it OK to assume the worst about them? Answer: It isn’t.

So to any food addict (not to metion to every exercise avoider as well) who has been negatively judged becuase of recovery effort, please know that you aren’t alone!  I, too, have had to endure nurerous judgmental comments (and hateful glances) over the years — and those words and looks definitely can hurt!

My “recovery puzzle” includes wisdom gleaned from various 12 Step fellowships, including Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon. One of my favorite lines from the A.A. Big Book says, “Where alcohol has been involced, we are stragely insane.” And I can solemnly assure you that when it comes to food (and exercise) I too have a well-documented history of being “strangely insane”.

So when I hear a fellow food addict pontificate to me or other addicts about nutrition (let alone exercise) I try to NOT over-react and remember to “consider the source”. Trusting a food addict to be a dietician is about illogical as trusting a pyromaniac to work as a fireman. It just ain’t a smart idea!!!

Could you make “better” food choices than some other addict? Good for you! Did you loose weight faster than another addict did? Whoopie!!!

What’s the point of being a know-it-all with one another? Can’t we all support one another while walking DIFFERENT paths to achieve our recovery? Since when did my mouth get attached to yours? Our own individual results are absolutely nothing to be ashamed of! Remember the famous disclaimer: “Your results may vary”. My experience is that our individual results often DO vary from that of another addict!

If you want “competition” go park your butt in front of your TV and watch those weight loss reality series. On the other hand, if you want to be “supportive”, then work your own program of recovery while affirming others for their sincere efforts at recovery.

Being overly critical of fellow addicts is all-too-typical behavior for those who have (and rumor has it that ALL of us addicts have this issue, to one degree or another) chronically low self-esteem. This problem is what 12 Step writer John Bradshaw refers to as “Toxic Shame”. When we who have for so long judged ourselves without mercy, it is all-too-easy to act out this way when we interact with others who share our addiction.

The tendency toward addict-to-addict judgmentalism is why I’ve decided to NOT post a whole lot of truly personal recovery information (e.g., my weight loss, food intake and accoiunting for physical exercise) on Overactive Fork. I don’t need the hateful remarks that come with shame-based addicts projecting their shame on me. NOT that I’ve ever projected ME shame on any other addicts! HA! I only (honestly) wish that were so.

Just for today I wont judge other addict’s attempts at (and results from their) recovery journey. My rate of weight loss (and yours) is God’s business (not mine or yours).